Meaning self-confidence.
For me, personally, self-confidence is a fickle and fluctuating thing. What I see and think when I look into the mirror heavily depends on the moment, as well as whom I may or may not be standing next to. It's kind of funny how the same image can look so completely different depending on one's mood and feelings when presented with it.
I tend to be more critical of things I do. I say 'more' as opposed to the sometimes pretty damn positive view I have of my reflection. I tend to be disappointed by anything I accomplish because for some reason I have delusions of grandeur even though the image I have of myself is not always that great. I can sing and draw reasonably well, and my academic accomplishments are pretty okay, but I'm always expecting more of myself.
Which makes it really annoying when people go all overboard and start telling me to sign up for talents shows and stuff even though I'm really not that good. Actually, I would kind of like to try that sort of thing, but the fact that there's little to no chance I'd actually win anything makes me reconsider. I don't like to pale in comparison to other people, so I generally just shy away from competitive stuff. In fact, when I encounter someone who is significantly better than me, it just makes me lose all will to continue for a while.
I'm basically constantly comparing myself to others. Where anyone else watching The Big Bang Theory would be like "whoa, those guys are just too smart", I would be more likely to conclude I'm not smart enough. That's just this sort of kink in my brain, I guess. It's really more trouble than it's worth.
Sorry I just sort of went off on a tangent there, hope it wasn't too annoying. :').
On the other hand, you could've just stopped reading.
~Levyathan.
SINE
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TANGENT
God I love making that joke.
Also, bluh, there'll always be people better than others in any field. Nobody can be the best, but at least you belong to the "better" group.
Ahahahaha I knew you were going to say that. That joke's already old. x'DDD.
Delete/and yeah, I guess there's that..
Well, if there's a field that you know you can do well in, you're not satisfied just seeing others do well - you want to measure up and be just as - or more - awesome. (At least that's the case for me? o.o)
ReplyDeleteI once found a picture with the caption "Sometimes I look in the mirror and think 'no one will ever love you.'" Somebody had crossed over that last part and replaced it with "damn I'm kawaii as fuck." Those were some wise words.
Yes I've seen that as well. Quite possibly on tumblr. x'D.
DeleteActually, both hold true for me at different moments. But yeah, that's some deep shit right there.
For what it's worth I think you're pretty, and a great singer :) Feeling that you're not good enough, or at the very least that you can be better, can be a good thing. As long as you don't let it depress you. If it motivates you, then it's good. Confidence is very fickle for me. If I assume something, I'm stubborn enough to come across as confident. For the most part however I am quite un-confident.
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