I'm just gonna do it.
By now it's already been overdone (meaning I've seen Mark and Fang do it before me) but I'm tickled to try it as well. I wonder if I'm even gonna get to twenty. >,>.
So, here go twenty things addressed to anyone (well, specific people per statement) that I wouldn't be able or gutsy enough to actually tell them in real life.
I'll start by saying most of these don't apply to any of my followers, so there's less fun in that, but it will still be good to get them off my chest.
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1. I'm sorry I feel like you're a lesser person than I am sometimes. I shouldn't. Then again at other times I just feel like I failed you.
2. Even though I love you and I've known you forever, at times I can hardly stand you.
3. I don't even know why I'm suddenly kind of clinging to you. I guess it has something to do with recently discovered (or maybe developed) shared interests? I just hope you don't mind.
4. I haven't known you long but the more we talk, the more I feel like we've got a lot in common.
5. You confuse me. Or maybe I confuse me. I don't really think I like you like that anymore, but then again I don't really think I don't. I do still think you're cute. :').
6. Sometimes I really hate you. But then, I can never stay mad at you for long. Which is a good thing. We've been in this cycle of conflict and peace for years, I guess.
7. At times I really think you should stand up for yourself. Even against him. Aren't we at least as important as he is? Then again maybe you just agree with him.
8. I guess I'm sorry for reacting the way I did back then. I still don't agree with your behavior at all, but I guess I can understand the feeling of crippling insecurity and low self-esteem that behavior stemmed from.
9. No matter what I said and did, I'm really glad we're friends again.
10. You've changed. Grown up, I suppose. I don't like it. I was sad to see our friendship disintegrate into near-nothing in a couple of weeks, but now I just don't care much for you anymore. Maybe it's because I don't see you often enough.
11. I really wish you wouldn't unconsciously make me feel left out and less important. I also wish I could call you out on it without feeling like a whiny bitch with a 2000 page manual.
12. I love talking to you. I've never met you and that saddens me, but I love talking to you.
13. It's great that I can tell you anything and you'll try and cheer me up and rationalize my problems, even if I feel a little stupid for complaining so much.
14. I know the plans we made, but if I really think about it I don't think I want to be tethered to you so strongly for such a long time.
15. I don't believe you when you say you think I'm prettier than you are.
16. We used to be pretty good friends but now all I generally think when I look at you is 'ew'.
17. It's really sad to see you so down in the dumps so often. Also it makes me feel like a huge jerk for complaining to you. Then again, that's how our friendship started.
18. I'm scared I'll lose you. You may say we can stay in touch and I hope we do but I'm just afraid it'll dwindle away into nothing over time.
19. You are an amazing person and I wish you lived closer.
20. I liked you for the entirety of primary school. Isn't that funny?
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That was easier than I expected. Like I said, most of these are for people most of you don't even know, but it's a good feeling to put them somewhere. The last one is a hypothetical one that I could use to start a conversation but won't ever because of AWKWARD. I just wanted a light one to break the train of insecurity and general depression.
You're welcome to guess for your ones, even though only three of you are actually in there and those should be pretty obvious. :'D.
~Levyathan
I went and kept a small list as I pulled through it. I may have overdone my guessing a bit.
ReplyDelete3, 18, are me.
Maybe 4 and maybe 13 too.
6 is your bro?
12 is so much Mark and/or Sophia.
I think I know 14 (Rianne, right?)
19 too (and possibly me)
oh ho ho ho typical how I didn't bestow any negative ones upon myself. DOES THAT MAKE ME OVER-CONFIDENT
3, 18 - yup.
Delete4 wasn't intended but I guess it works if you interpret 'knowing' as 'actually actively talking and hanging out and stuff'.
13 is for multiple people and you're definitely one of them.
6 is not my bro.
12 is indeed both of them.
14 - bingo
19 too as in Rianne? Then no. As in Mark and Sophia? Then yes. And also you but you live within a manageable distance.
And no it's actually the case. ;).
yes, 19 as in Mark and/or Sophia. Misplaced that one accidentally.
DeleteWow okay, ~80% accuracy then, counting 4 as slightly correct. WHOOP WHOOP
Love you too, Bien :3
Hoshit I'm really tempted to just say which one is about whom but that defeats the purpose >,>.
ReplyDeleteI'd almost say do it, but then I'm tempted to also challenge you to tell said people.
Delete4 is me and Sophia. Same with 13 (though Fang is probably included in that). 15 is Fang >_>. 17 is possibly me and or Sophia, seeing as the first time we really talked was you unloading on me (which I remember "encouraging" so much I left you no choice in the matter). 18 is Fang. So is 20.
ReplyDeleteI didn't guess at the ones Fang got right, for obvious reasons :)
You got 4 right. Same with 13, it is indeed all three of you. 15 is not Fang x'DDDD. 17 is you.
Delete18 is indeed Fang, 20 is not. We met in middle/secondary school.
Overall you did pretty well, I should say. :').
Well I hope the emoticon made it clear I was kidding about 15 :) Really you should complain to me more. Helping people solve their problems cheers me up, it really does :)
Delete>fang is 20
DeleteBien he still thinks we have a thing for each other. What do?
Yeah, I knew you were kidding.
DeleteIt seems there's nothing that can be done. >,>. He's just like some rabidly shipping fangirl. Soz Mark. x'DD.
So far there's a vicious love triangle between you, Fang, and Sophia. But to make matters even more interesting Sophia has a thing for Bien, not Fang.
DeleteOOPS BUSTED
DeleteAlso this is totally a love square, we can't forget about the tsundere yaoi thing you and Fang have got going there which you adamantly deny since you've tricked yourself into believing you love only pigeons.
Thanks Mark, now I have this image of beauty-queen Fang who posts pictures of himself all over the internet and fishes for compliments, then denies them when he gets them.
Wait isn't that what Fang does anyway? O_o Plus he's the one that's in the closet, not me.
DeleteThe intrigue is building up you guys.
DeleteI think this may or may not be a fitting song depending on how serious you're willing to take some parts of it.
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF7XIxnuv6w
Also love square. Yeah, geometrically work it baby.
I've seen that. I lol'd at the part where he's all "Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay!" x'D.
DeleteBut you ARE gay.
DeleteIs that.. directed at me? I... what?
DeleteHave we still not settled this yet?
Want to discuss this over a fancy wine,
Luxury meal,
With the lights of the candles reflecting in your eyes.
And I keep falling into them, deeper and deeper.
Is that what you want?
Yes. That is precisely what I want.
DeleteI aLl ThInK tHaT mIgHt PoSsIbLy WhAt He AlL mOtHeRfUcKiNg WaNtS, bRo.
DeleteOr maybe something less... implicating?
...well fuck.
DeleteI'm SO not going to turn gay for you Mark. IT JUST WON'T HAPPEN
/two days later
marry me Mark
Or maybe it was actually two days before and you just don't remember. Think about that.
Deleteshh don't make him remember too
DeleteIt couldn't have been two days ago. I was in Mexico two days ago. I can't remember much of the trip actually...just that there was a guy with me. I think he said he wanted me to marry him but I wasn't sure it was legal there.
DeleteOh good Heavens no, you're right. That totally doesn't sound suspiciously similar or anything. x'DD.
Delete